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Can you overcome your fear to live the life you want?

Posted On 2012-04-02 , 5:44 AM

In my last post I defined some of the many types of fear that there are and outlined a simple 5 step plan to help overcome some of these to allow you to start building self confidence and esteem.

In this post I want to look at the impact of fear on your health and mental well being.

Experiencing short term fear is not necessarily a big issue, e.g. a scary movie, and can be an interesting experience as bodies natural defence (Adrenalin) is introduced which results in a ‘buzz’ or a ‘high’.

This response impacts your health and wellbeing as it increases your metabolic rate and blood sugar levels providing a boost to your muscles alongside amping up your responses and awareness; physically blood pressure and heart rate rocket, blood vessels constrict and the pathways to your legs and arms widen. However you may feel a short term increase in your confidence.

If however there is a continual respond to the same ‘trigger’ this could result in the formation of a phobia. These can be triggered by a physical thing such as spiders (Arachnophobia), a race or culture (Anglophobia) or activity such as work (Ergophobia).

Long-term exposure to such repeated doses of adrenaline and other stress-related hormones will lead to an increase in illnesses such as colds and infections, aches and pains and in more extreme cases sexual disorders and fatigue or loss of appetite which require medication and care.

Anyone currently experiencing fear or anxiety must start to deal with it in a proactive way. A start point is the five steps I outlined in my previous blog ‘Motivator or dream killer’, which should be followed up with further research and reading such as Overcome Fear and Anxiety.

Getting over a phobia isn’t easy but as with fear you need to face it and start with the activities mentioned above however if this approach does not yield positive results then seek one-on-one help from an experienced councillor who is skilled in Cognitive behaviour therapy.

It is essential that any phobias, or anxiety disorders, are dealt with as the long term implications on your health can be profound. Frequent episodes or attacks put your body in a state of panic, forcing energy away from valuable support systems and increasing blood pressure. Over time these can put a real strain on your body and mind.

In summary short term fears are not generally a problem however repetition of these can develop into a phobia if not dealt with. The long term can impacts of a phobia can be profound on your health and wellbeing

Fear, anxiety and phobias are powerful feelings and emotion that serve nothing more than to erode your energy, confidence and self esteem.




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Motivator or dream killer……..

Posted On 2012-03-13 , 10:54 AM

What is fear? Well this is very personal to each and every one of us but for most the reality is it results in some form of paralysis which kills your motivation and stops you building self confidence and esteem

There are many different types of fear including abandonment, being bad, being controlled by others, being deprived, being harmed, being of no value, worthless, being unloved, change, conflict, death, failure, loneliness, looking stupid, loss and unknown to list put a few.

NELSON MANDELA said of fear and man:

The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

But what can we do to manage or overcome fears and start the process of rebuilding self confidence and self esteem?

For those who are having trouble knowing if you’re ready to deal with your fear then seek out one of the many professional specialists who can provide one-on-one help however if you are ready to deal with it below are 5 simple steps that, used daily, will help:

1 Set a goal you wish to achieve and define the actions to get you there. You need to know the reason of doing it so that you have enough motivation to overcome the fear. If you have no strong enough reason, you will not follow through the action and failure will be unavoidable.

2 Understand the nature of fear. Fear is created in our mind according to our natural instinct and you may need to fully analysis a situation to feel more comfortable; this helps to reduce the fear. People successfully conquer their fear are those who face it and learn how to deal with it. Achieving this alone will see a dramatic improvement in your health and wellness.

3 Learn how to switch your focus. Do not focus on something you fear but instead focus on what you want and that provides you greater motivation. Look at self improvement activities that will train you to think about good things in your life.

4 Know how to visualize. Regular visualization will help to dramatically reduce your fear and attract favourable situations and attributes into your life, according to the law of attraction.

5 Feel gratitude on what has brought you here. Once you feel really grateful, you will not have fear. When you are feeling fearful make sure that you have the right focus to minimize it.

In my next blog I will explore further the impact of fear can have on health and mental wellbeing.




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What makes you get up and go?

Posted On 2012-02-29 , 8:09 AM

The further I have travelled on my journey exploring both my internal and external worlds; one thing has become very evident that motivation and self improvement are inextricably linked.

By this I mean if you wish to take the first step for any self improvement you need to find the reason, or motivation, to do it.

There is no difference if you’re taking a qualification to gain a promotion at work, going to the gym to lose weight to fit into clothes that are  a bit tight or putting a multi-million dollar business deal together.

Or put another way is the ‘Why’ big enough? Do you have a reason to get you up everyday and strike out into the world?

Keep a look out in the coming weeks as I will be adding a resource center to www.buildingyourselfconfidence.com to provide reviews and advice on trainers and products that can help to break down any barriers you may have in clearly defining what your ‘Why’ is.

When you have found your reason and are motivated to make whatever changes you feel you need too it will inevitably lead you down a particular path. At this point you should make a plan with small stepped changes to achieve your goals; however a plan should only be for guidance as they can be subject to change if and when you hit any obstacles.

Exploration and discovery is probably the most important part of any journey as it will help you better understand and define what you are trying to achieve. However there is a warning in that it will result in experiencing both positive and negative emotions which will in turn have an impact on your motivation and self improvement.

The positive emotions will include such feelings as excitement, success, happiness and fulfilment which will carry you along but these maybe counteracted by negative ones such as sadness, failure, disappointment and difficulty. It can be a roller coaster of a ride and there are many techniques that can be used, which I will discuss in future blogs, to help manage and balance out the extremities of these emotions.

If there is one emotion that I would highlight at this point, which will reduce or kill your motivation or self improvement actions, is ‘Fear’. If you do not tame or learn to manage your fear, about anything you face in daily life, you will never progress as you will be defeated before you try therefore you will never succeed!

If however you can manage your fear and you succeed you will find that not only that your motivation increase but also your success will start to come more easily and quicker. In summary success breeds more success.

The process describe above can be summarised as:

• Find your reason ‘Why’
• Develop a plan
• Face your fear of the new or unknown

This is the basic process of how we grow and develop in any field we choose, as human beings and contributes to the fulfilment in our daily lives.

In my next blog I will start to look in more depth at some of the techniques mention earlier to support increasing motivation and developing self improvement plans.




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I'm not negative, am I?

Posted On 2012-01-24 , 6:25 AM

For me my journey started with the realisation that my personal self confidence and self esteem was very low. This revelation was a shock to me as in my professional life I was very confident dealing with CEOs of large organisations responsible for the delivery of multi-million dollar IT systems that supported the building of their new business ventures!!

The first thing I needed to understand was why this had happened to me? I felt I was a reasonably intelligent, balanced person who had a positive outlook with a can do attitude and surely this shouldn’t happen to me! I had a real hunger to learn how to go about rebuilding my self confidence again.

I started by finding and studying people, the likes of Brian Tracy, T Harv Ecker, Tony Robbins and Andy Harrington, who could help me to understand why this had happened and mentor me so I could move me forward. Once I had found these individuals I attended a series of courses, seminars and webinars to help me remember what my core values where and what I really wanted in life; it threw up some interesting results:

• I had been married for nearly 14 years before divorce but to the wrong person who didn’t share the same morals and principles which made living together difficult
• Though good at the job I do it wasn’t the work I loved and I didn’t enjoy it
• The two things combined to make me very negative and depressed. Most importantly I didn’t know how to ask for help to change it!

Once I knew these things my hunger grew to break cycle of negativity and move on. So I started to explore what this meant for me and discovered:

• I really wanted to be my own boss
• I wanted work to be fun as well as helping others along the way
• Something that would give me freedom to work from wherever I wanted to be

I researched many opportunities from Trading Shares, Public Speaking, Franchises and Internet based businesses. There was no one single thing that caught my imagination so I learned how to meditate and reflect on life which in turn freed my mind to access my subconscious mind and from within an overall Vision for my new world and work materialised.

I have since formulated a step-by-step plan around my Vision with Building Your Self Confidence as the vehicle for me to communicate and share information with everyone; whether they need a start point to rebuild self confidence and self esteem or find a new direction in their life.

My aspirations for the future are to develop buildingyourselfconfidence.com into a hub for anyone to visit where help, knowledge and encouragement can be found to look inside, find their dreams and start on the path to fulfilling them for a better, healthier and happier future. Also to develop relationships with those who are receptive to new ideas, new approaches and want to change through their self development and motivation.

In my next blog I will start to explore in more detail some of the areas on the site and, where possible, have guest bloggers to provide alternative views on the subject matter. The first topic to be addressed will be motivation and self improvement.




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How do I change my tomorrow?

Posted On 2012-01-06 , 7:31 AM

At the time of writing my last blog, almost 6 months ago time really does fly, I had been working very hard on identifying my ‘motivators’ and ‘de-motivators’. 


The results provided some interesting insight into who I am, which in turn helped in further building self confidence and esteem.

I took the work I’d been doing on ‘motivators’ and ‘de-motivators’ and formed them into a ‘Vision’ based around my ideal day capturing as much detail as possible including the sounds I wanted to hear, the smells I wanted to smell, what I wanted to feel and see. This provided me with a good start point and a realisation that, two years after a very acrimonious divorce, to progress my own self development and motivation and new business ventures the single most important thing to have in my life was a relationship with a caring, sharing and loving partner.

For me it didn’t matter how many ideas for new business ventures or start up business plans I had or drew up without this fundamental corner stone I could not progress further. This was so important to me that I stopped pretty much everything and put my full focus behind it; the reason for my detour for 6 months from my web site.

And the result…I have found a new partner who I have been with for 2 months and each day our feelings for each other and our relationship grow stronger.

The secret to achieving this success is simple:

• First from my ‘Vision’ I focused on the characteristics I described and wanted in a partner; such as sharing, caring and loving;
• Second I started to feel the emotions behind those characteristics like sharing a romantic meal, looking after her when she was sick and giving her a hug;
• Third, once I understood the feelings I started looking for a partner who could not only recognise my feelings but I could also recognise hers.

I changed a part of my life by understanding what was important to me as well as the things that weren’t. I then developed a vision and associated feelings and emotions, followed by taking positive action. These three steps are very powerful tools that anyone can master to change their tomorrow.

So here I stand at the start of 2012, full of hope and optimism for my future as I have a new relationship that is providing me the extra motivation I need to move to the next stage of my life. My main objectives are to achieve financial freedom whilst supporting and helping others along the way.

In my next blog I’ll explain in a bit more detail the resons why, and how, I started this site as one of my own new business ventures whilst sharing some of my aspirations for self development and motivation.




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Can you overcome your fear to live the life you want?
Motivator or dream killer……..
What makes you get up and go?
I'm not negative, am I?
How do I change my tomorrow?

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